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c/darkspot·posted 10 months ago by u/yusuf_achebe

why does nobody talk about regret

Resolved Receipts ×1 Well Actually ×2

Slightly embarrassed to be asking this, but: why does nobody talk about regret.

Ignored something for four days that I should have asked about on day one. That is the only genuine regret in my whole run.

On being wrong in public, which is the best thing that happens here.

Several of the most valuable posts on this board are corrections: somebody reported a problem, it turned out to be their own storage or their own arithmetic, and they came back and said so with the original left up.

That takes considerably more than being right did, and it is what keeps the rest of the archive trustworthy. A board of unretracted accusations is worthless within a year. A board where the corrections sit next to the original reports can be read by a stranger in three years and still mean something. If you have one to make, make it — it will be received better here than anywhere else on the site.

The pattern in the money-loss posts, since there is one.

Almost none of them involve a documented supplier with an independent testing record. They involve an unfamiliar shop, a price that seemed good, a decision made in a hurry, and no small first order.

The procedural fix is the one this site keeps repeating: buy small from anybody new, ask for a batch-specific document before paying, test what arrives, and only then commit. It is boring, it costs a small order, and it would have prevented most of what is written on this board. Where a name has nothing verifiable on file, that is a statement about the evidence available rather than about anyone’s conduct — and keeping that distinction is why these reports stay useful.

Not medical advice, obviously, and nothing here is approved for human use. One person with a spreadsheet.

1,163 up / 251 down82% upvoted59 commentsid 4c21z113 Sep 2025

59 comments

27 in this archive, depth 6

best — the order this archive was captured in

u/yusuf_achebe59 points·10 months ago

Most of what gets posted here is procedural rather than dramatic: a step skipped, a document not requested, a temperature not considered, a pace chosen out of impatience.

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u/quarter_dose_queenlow and slow33 points·10 months ago

Did you write anything down at the time?

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u/cato_girard25 points·10 months ago

writing it down is the useful part, not the outcome

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u/lina_ndiaye20 points·10 months ago

this board exists so the failures are on the record too

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u/camila_marchand-19 points·10 months ago

the fridge failure story happens every summer

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u/ismael_chukwu19 points·10 months ago

Careful with naming anybody. The board rule holds even here, and especially here.

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u/fabio_ibarra18 points·10 months ago

nobody gets judged here, that is the entire premise

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[removed]12 points·10 months ago

[removed by moderator]

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u/mod_ambulatoryadmin0 points·10 months ago

Agreed — somebody is at exactly the point you were at, reading this, and it will land differently for them than any success story.

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u/step_count_stan7 points·10 months ago

That was a hold rather than a loss, and it resolved. Updating rather than deleting.

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u/arto_falk5 points·10 months ago

Stopped for financial reasons and regained most of it. Not a moral story, just a budget and a documented outcome.

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u/burned_once_twiceMOD58 points·10 months ago

Name removed. The rule holds here too: no individuals, no accusations without documents.

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u/appeal_letter_al17 points·10 months ago

Yes. Buy small first. It is the cheapest lesson on the site and it keeps being learned the expensive way.

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u/quarter_dose_queenlow and slow28 points·10 months ago·edited

Name removed.

burned_once_twice is right that it was procedural. The procedure was not written down anywhere for you to follow.

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u/sterile_field_steph85 points·10 months ago

Why this board exists, stated once, since new members find it and are surprised.

Every other community surface on this site is a record of things that worked, because people post when they have something to show. That produces an archive with a systematic bias, and somebody at week three reads it and concludes that their difficult month is unusual.

This board is the counterweight. The rule is that nobody gets judged, that corrections stay up, and that the failures are written down with the same care as the successes. It is the least-visited part of the site and the part I would keep if I could only keep one.

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u/appeal_letter_al22 points·10 months ago

Escalating faster than the schedule allows is the most frequently described regret on the site, and the mechanism is straightforward: tolerance is the limiting factor and it does not care about impatience.

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u/marisol_frisk0 points·10 months ago

Name removed.

Adding the thing that would have caught it earliest — buy small and test before committing.

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u/lina_ndiaye1 point·10 months ago

accusing the wrong party and correcting it publicly is the best kind of post here

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u/chidi_yilmaz1 point·10 months ago

Same. The thing that went wrong for me was procedural and boring and it cost me a lot.

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u/two_mil_or_one1 point·10 months ago

money lost to a shop with nothing on file is the recurring story

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u/saskia_wojcik0 points·10 months ago

money lost to a shop with nothing on file is the recurring story

Disagreeing with the self-blame in this line. Some of it is luck and treating everything as a lesson is its own trap.

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u/solene_abubakar1 point·10 months ago

going up too fast is the most repeated regret on this board

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u/neha_falk1 point·10 months ago

Fridge died in a heatwave and I lost three months of material. There was no clever lesson; I just had not thought about it.

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u/britt_abubakar1 point·10 months ago

stopping for financial reasons is not a personal failure

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u/endpoint_creep33 points·10 months ago

Yes — writing it down while it is fresh, before memory tidies it into a better story.

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u/incretin_ivypharmacology23 points·10 months ago

Is this the first time, or a pattern you can see now?

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u/rania_salinas13 points·10 months ago

How long did it take you to notice?

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About c/darkspot

Where the failure reports live. Orders that never arrived, tests that came back at 61%, side effects that ended someone's run, money lost to group buys, and decisions people would not make again. Heavily moderated for cruelty, not for pessimism.

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